Lohan loves Calum Beast

 

Calum Best has been telling his friends that Lindsay Lohan is hot in bed and the best sex he’s ever had. I just threw up in my mouth. . . When I saw this picture I thought he was an extra from 28 Weeks Later, the horror movie.

 

A source close to Calum said, “Calum was knocked out by her body. He said she’s got one of the best he’s ever seen with all the curves in the right places. He joked Lindsay loved being on top during sex and controlling the pace but sometimes he felt he needed ear muffs because she screamed so much during sex. Lindsay likes her sex rough and passionate and Calum says he has the bruises and bumps to prove it.”

 

Hey Calum, news flash. Everybody in L.A. has already had Lindsay and she’s horrible, that’s why she’s dating a nobody reality show loser instead of a hollywood mega star. Nobody will touch her, literally.

 

Amy Winehouse needs a makeover!

Amy Winehouse, who has been rumored to be the next Bond Girl, was photographed here after undergoing several hours of makeup and special effects for her new video where she plays a hairy werewolf.

Wow, Amy’s career is really taking off, as is her personal life. Her rep has confirmed that she got married to Blake Fielder-Civil on May 18 in Miami according to one report. The two got engaged last month.

Better you than me Blake!

Britney Jumps the Shark

This weekend Britney pulled an Ashlee Simpson, and was caught lip syncing on stage when her backing CD started skipping, reports MTV. Britney Spears is dangerously close to becoming a complete joke. I seriously think she has mental problems. The next step is for her to get plastic surgery on her nose and darken her skin pigment. Forget rehab, let her spend a few weeks with my mom who will kick her (literally) in the ass and tell her to smarten up. Britney needs a serious dose of common sense in order to get back on track.

Mullet Man arrested again

Scott Stapp, the former lead singer Creed, was arrested at his home in Boca Raton, Florida last night on suspicion of domestic assault with intent to commit a felony.

Stapp, who spent the night behind bars in a Palm Beach County jail, is scheduled to appear in court this morning, where a judge will set bond.

The 33-year-old rocker was married to Miss New York USA 2004 Jaclyn Nesheiwat in February 2006. The couple has a 4-month-old daughter together. Stapp also has a son from a previous marriage.

According to the police report, Stapp’s wife, Miss New York USA 2004, Jaclyn Nesheiwat Stapp, claims that she called 911 after Scott stumbled into their $5 million Mansion around 8:00 AM and got “very angry” when she asked if he was “using drugs.” Jaclyn told police that Stapp began yelling at her to “leave him alone,” before he grabbed an Orangina bottle and launched it at her face, nearly hitting her.